Because “blow me and then put another cartridge on top of me once I’m in the NES” wouldn’t fit.
You bought 1350 lbs of this shirt but you can only carry 200 back to the wagon.
Another day, another website selling witty teeshirts. I think I’m going to have to throw away a lot of plain-jane teeshirts and get something with a little kick…
And I quote:
“I think that “never smokin’ weed with Willie again” is a bad idea.”
http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,18336,00.html?fdnews
my how quickly they grow up…I don’t know what they put in the puppy chow…
Thats what a $25,000 chair looks like…
I don’t have much today…slim pickins…still trying to find my groove…been too busy working to do much surfin for tidbits…and, I think I can start to relax because I have a feeling those cocksuckers are going to jail here soon…
SOMEONE GRAB A BROOMSTICK, RUMSFELD NEEDS INTERROGATED!
On a lighter note, did you catch the Arrested Development finale? ‘you forgot to say away again’…’three openings to fill’…at least it went out on a high note!
4:08AM EST, Thursday
heading home…
its been a long two weeks on the road. it will be good to go home.
everything has gone exceedingly well, I can’t complain one bit. the business, the pleasure, the food, the beer, it has been a very busy but plesant diversion.
I’m actually over the southern pacific at this moment. I’ll probably update the blog once or twice more before uploading it after I get home, so keep in mind the time as you read.
Final notes on NZ:
You can’t go wrong with beer here. They have enough microbreweries and botique brewers, they makes something for everyone.
The mixed drinks is a very different story. I’ve had very weak drinks (no one can make a damn white russian in this country) and very strong drinks (every rum and coke I’ve ordered (after describing what goes in it) I’ve had has been 1) excellent and 2) fucking strong. At the airport I had three rum and cokes while reading the new Michael Crichton book ‘State of Fear’ (jury is out on the book, I’m only 1/2 through). Each of those drinks cost $3.50. Each one, the lady poured the rum into a shotglass until it overflowed into the cup, easily 1 1/2 shots. A small glass. I’d guess 50% rum, 50% coke. ‘The bomb’ (can I say that on an airplane?). Here on the plane, I asked for a rum and coke (in economy, free drinks!!! fucking qantas is ‘the bomb’). The stewardess brought me a glass half-filled with rum and a little ice. And a small coke. Ugh…is too much of a good thing the perfect amount?
They have a half-dozen movies playing, but i’m not really interested in johnny cash or penguins. I guess I should sleep soon. fucking dill hole in front of me has his seat the whole way back, I’m rather jammed in here at the moment, but I can still read the screen. oh well…here’s hoping we don’t end up at the bottom of the ocean (well, the laptop would end up there, I’m sure I’d be pooped out much higher)…
8:30PM EST, Thursday
cranky…
fucking hell, travelling all day takes it out of you. I’m currently sitting in a little bastard concourse outside of the main Dulles terminals. I guess a little United spur for smaller planes. Let me tell you, even though the trip wasn’t as interesting from LAX to Washington, it went a hell of a lot faster. Something about the wind and travelling against the rotation, seemed like it took three hours, four max. Wached ‘Good Night, and Good Luck’ (I think it was called, with George Clooney). Good, but seemed a little short. Worth watching, if only for the historical aspect.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Way ahead. Lets take a little trip back to LAX…
So, everything was bowling along, customs took about 20 seconds, got my luggage in short order, called Kell to let her know I was back in the states, everything was firing on all cylinders. Then, I got to the ‘easy check-in’, as the automated process is called. Got to the end and because I had one checked bag, the whole process was fucked. I could just feel it unraveling…
So, I go stand in line for about 1/2 hour, waiting to hand a little barcode to a service represtative, who prints my tickets in about 15 seconds…why couldn’t that be done electronically? Anyway, I head upstairs for security, and FUCK you should have seen the line, it was tremendous. There was an aussie behind me who was worried about missing a flight, but they kept culling the line for ‘just in time’ serivce. Eventually, I was culled and it seems that having me in a position to actually commence caused some harmonic balance to fall farther out of alignment. You should have seen the clusterfuck of people being ‘confused’ about a line. You’re new to the line, you go to the end. These asians (japanese probably) couldn’t speak a whit of english, kept fucking the line up by trying to cut ahead, the two representatives were barely able to maintain order, a true knotted clusterfuck (clusterknotfuck hereafter). All of this happened with me in the front of the culled line, who should have gone next because our planes were boarding…finally, order was restored, some business guy got a kick out of my ‘are you going to eat those tots’ t-shirt, and some really old foreign people ‘cut’ (with official assistance) right in front of me. Couldn’t speak english, slow and old as hell. Old guy went through the scanner, it went off, he couldn’t figure out they wanted him to back up and go again. Time just ticked away…finally the security guy noticed that I HAD MY SHIT TOGETHER if the rest of the world was willing to play ball, and let me through.
I made it to the boarding gate (luckily it was pretty much as I remembered it from the last time through) as the last of passengers were submitting their tickets…when again, the world slowed to a crawl. Apparently, EVERYONE NEEDS to bring about three suitcase sized carry-ons with them, so after about 2/3 of the passengers had boarded, they rand out of room to stow. (Did I tell you about my theory on improving my mood during air travel? Sort passengers so those with no carry on sit closest to the door, those with underseat stowables are behind them, those with one suitcase go 3/4 of the way back, and the shitheads who feel the need to not check 1/2 of their baggage can sit the whole way in the back). Where was I?
Oh yea, out of room. Again, asians couldn’t figure out what was going on, and were clusterknotfucking everything (I don’t have problems with asians, just asians who clusterknotfuck my life). This one guy was flirting with getting thrown off the plane, but he could speak english. Dunno what his problem was, he and his wife had four carry-ons, two of which were suitcases, one dufflebag and one backpack. Kept saying about how they could stow them under the seats. Honestly, at that point, I was looking for some action. Unfortunately, somehow, reason took hold and I inched my way through assholes stowing their lifes possessions above their seats towards mine. This is where the real fun started, actually…
Stow my modest carry-on which contains anything I’d need overnight, and then some, and realize I’m sitting next to Andre-the-fucking-mailroom-clerk-The-Giant, and the Unibomber. Seriously, this guy was nothing but shoulder and elbow. And an inconsiderate prick as well, didn’t give a flying fuck that he was all over my seat. I’m not going to go there anymore, some things are best just to let go of…The unibomber wasn’t as bad, just scribbling his manifesto in typical non-linear fashion. Think: scraggly hair, scraggly beard, sheaf of papers, and a pen. Hunched in the other direction (Mr. Arms and Legs wasn’t saving it just for me), probably jotting that because I was reading ‘State of Fear’, I was just another pig who deserved the package I was destined to get or something…
So, luckily the flight went very fast. And the movie was good. And my book was good. Meh, once I got into Dulles, things turned around, no hassles here yet. But I hear over the intercom that people going to Allentown are fucked because the plane is very late…This little terminal, considering these people are waiting to flights to State College, Allentown, Charlottesville, Savanna, etc etc…it looks like a refugee camp…packed. (I later found out, there is a pretty good storm system rolling across the country, looks like a typical summertime coldfront, hence the delays)
Did I tell you that everyone is coughing? It some sorta sickness…sounds like a cold…bird flu, anyone? My immune system is compromised with the lack of sleep and whatnot…
Thats pretty much it. I’m all done. Getting pretty tired…boy am I looking forward to Kell, a nice ride home, a warm soft bed, and some good sleeping in with nothing to do…its 8:52, plane boards soon, departs at 10. Maybe I’ll go double-check that my baggage was checked the whole way through. Or fuck it. If the place wasn’t so terribly busy, I’d go get something to eat. Meh…
I hope you enjoyed my ‘creative’ blog, I don’t imagine it continuing like this after I get back. This takes a lot of downtime (literally nothing else to do), and I usually find a diversionary way to spend my downtime.
So, what am I looking forward to the most now that I’m back? Mostly Kell, she had it a lot worse than I did, she didn’t really have much to do these past two weeks. I’m sorta looking forward to a little TV, didn’t watch any other than a little rugby and just enough cricket to be confused. Sorta scared to check my email, its been close to a week. Probably got packed up and is bouncing stuff…
Sometimes, I imagine that I could write a novel. I think, ‘I WANT to write a novel, I feel like I have lots of things I’d cover’. But, this is already like pulling teeth, and I have lots of stuff to specifically write about. I think I’d get about two pages into it and loose steam. Perhaps if I secluded myself and drank a lot, thats the usual prescription, isn’t it? In order to be creative, you need to remove distractions, have plenty of formative time in front of a word processor, lube up the creative cogwork, and see what spits out. Maybe when I retire here in the next five or ten years…did you see that? I think I just say breakfast flying by…I tried my hand, got about a paragraphs worth but just don’t know what to do to fill up the pages…
OH!!! NO FUCKING WIFI HERE!!! THIRD WORLD COUNTRY!!! What is wrong with these asshats? Its old technology and its very cheap to provide.
2:42PM EST, Friday
Guess who’s back, back again…back and well rested…
Where to begin…
Hopefully, as you read this a new batch of photos has been uploaded to Flickr for your viewing pleasure.
Today feels about two or three days long already (10pm local time at this moment, Sunday Feb 12th).
After nailing down all of the little gremlins and wrapping up yesterday, we slept early in order to wake at 6am to catch a bus. Actually, I napped till about 3am, from then on I woke up every half-hour or so in order to not be startled to death by my cell phone, which I had set an alarm for with the ring tone of ‘Psycho’ (you know, the knife-stabbing music, very very loud…turns out excellent subconcious motivation to awake well ahead of time in order not to hear it…).
So…6am shower, then a mile walk to the bus stop with a daybag packed (my carry-on is my laptop, loaded it up with a change of clothes). 7:30, on a little 14 person bus and a four hour drive over the mountains down here. The east coast, as you might have seen, is ‘relatively’ dry. Going up the hills, it gets a little drier, looking somewhat like Arizona. Rather suddenly, it begins sprinkling and the hills are noticably greener. A little further on, and you realize those aren’t shrubs on the hillsides, its a rainforest. We stopped in the little town where you might have seen the ‘Keas’, a paticularly evil breed of parrot known for tearing the weatherstripping off of cars (and according to the local we met, the kidneys out of sheep). A sandwich and a Smirnoff Ice later (the lady working the counter said it was the earliest she’s ever seen someone drink, at about 10:30am…and here I thought NZ was serious about their alcohol (as long as its past noon I guess)), back on the bus. We have a couple good pics, but it doesn’t really convey the wetness.
Arriving in town (actually, passing through Greymouth onto a smaller town of Hokitika (Hokitika being the third largest city on the west coast, about the same size as Jersey Shore…)), we secured our room at a local hotel. Another hotel with no internet service…apparently the English don’t bring laptops (the local said English are among the most numerous tourists, along with Asians). Had lunch in town (if the locals tell you Whitefish is a delicacy, tell them thanks but I’ll have something else, reminded me of squid bleh), met up with the local Jon (who owns a mill here in town, works with a lot of Red Beech, hopefully our next target here in NZ). Jon took us out on a quick tour of the area…first to the lake and small forest path, and then onto the gorge and swinging bridge. I’ve never been in a tropical rain forest before (driving through the one in Hawaii doesn’t count, I didn’t get to get out and walk around very much), I really liked it a lot. The sense of isolation is profound: there is no air traffic overhead, no highways, no sound other than birdcall (and not much of that). Just ancient, virgin rainforest, looking exactly the same for thousands of years. I liked it a lot.
Kell and I played phone tag for a while, but it wasn’t bad once I got in touch with her. Cell phones are amazingly useful, how did we ever get on without them? Being in touch no matter where I go, priceless…
Had dinner at a local restrauant, tried monkfish in a filo pastry and a coconut cream sauce. Not bad, but not the best fish I’ve had (the top two being from Tierras del Sol and Degree). Guess what else I had. Go on, use a wild guess. Pumpkin soup. Yep, imagine pumpkin pie, but instead without the sugar and in cream soup base. Actually, with some salt and pepper it wasn’t bad. My horizon was expanded tonight, for sure. I hear pumpkin is quite popular cooked in a variety of manners round here.
Sorry I don’t have my A game tonight, I am feeling the effects of not getting enough sleep (I know my A game is disjointed and difficult to follow…).
Onward tomorrow, back on a tour bus to reverse our trip, back to Christchurch to sleep, then on a plane to Napier with a short layover in Wellington. We’re having an impromtu and informal semi-board meeting, since nearly everyone will be available. That should wrap it up here in NZ. I might have one or two additional blogs left in me, definately more pictures, but I don’t think much more thats interesting…
Hope you’ve enjoyed following me around!
Sometimes when I blog, I have a theme, and if I have been thinking about it a bit and have had a beer or two, I can usually ramble pretty well. If I have a theme and haven’t been thinking about it, and haven’t had anything to loosen my mental lips, the posting is usually terse. If I don’t have a theme…you have this!
Everything took a strong turn for the better today. An hour or so ago, around six PM local, we pulled a couple samples with Rick (the operator of Southern Veneers) thinking we’d show him how badly the kiln had ruined a good portion of his wood. We pulled the top two layers, the ones we had looked at yesterday, and he mentioned that the cracks were there when he sliced it, he was intending on using it for backing, in his opinion it looked pretty good. We pulled samples from lower, the ‘good’ veneer which was actually going into flooring and (very, very much to our suprise) it looked absolutely fine. We were hoping that veneer was nearly impossible to damage with our process (even wood as difficult as Red Beech), and it turns out that even with all of the little mistakes, problems and hiccups, the wood was fine and drying well. Talk about a load off the shoulders. And, a nicer upside having Rick there to see that it wasn’t as bad as we had been saying!
Earlier, while I was nailing down problems and adjusting the programming to deal with ‘this and that’, I’d make a revision and load it into the kiln. Once I was reasonably certain it worked the same in the PLC as it did in my head, I headed into the computer to monitor. I set the laptop up and spent some very quality time with Kell. It is really, really nice having Skype, a microphone and a little webcam along with a broadband connection, it is…as good as it can be when you are as far from home as possible without going into outer space…If you have any reason to make long distance calls, or hell, even local calls, and you have a computer and a broadband connection, may I recommend skype?
Skype.com - free and ‘it just works’, no ’screwing’ around
Microphone - $8 and ‘it just works’
Webcam - $13 and it mostly just works. Cheap webcams are still sorta hit-or-miss…this one (while available) is perfecly serviceable…
Now, ask your friends/family who are long distance calls to do the same. Connect, talk, enjoy…for free :)
Where was I? Oh yea, I wanted to play some Canasta so I re-introduced Kelley to it. I’m pretty sure she’d played once a long time ago, but after one or two hands she was stealing the pile from under me and going out like a demon. Experience still managed to prevail (I got a good headstart heh).
So, did you guys get the Bush administration pulled down yet? I noticed on TV that lying is taking its toll of the fucker, he’s looking older every day. With Libby passing the buck, I see Bush ‘revealing’ how ’successful’ he is in ‘protecting’ us from ‘terrorism’ with some smoke and mirrors about LA. Remember, the things they go out of their way to tell you are the things you should LEAST believe.
I forgot to add links for downloading that song last night didn’t I? Hopefully I’ll remember to add links for that and links for the above items, eh?
Its amazing how two beers just allows me to run on and ramble like this. Hopefully you’ve found it as interesting to read as I’ve found it interesting to thinke…err…
A few final notes on New Zealand (with lots of pics coming tomorrow, internet connection allowing):
No handguns. Shotguns are alright, but it is amazingly difficult to acquire and purchase a handgun. Please reference THESE stastics comparing the death-by-handgun rates of NZ vs the US. Apparently, if you even register to purchase a handgun, the police run a backround check including interviews with those close to you. Now, in the US, if they had a handgun buy-back, and prevented the mass-manufacturering of new ones, and carefully restricted imporation, and strongly regulated ownership, and confiscated and destroyed illegal guns…after five years, please tell me what would happen. Go on, take a wild guess…
There are quite a few //more// SUV’s and a handful more trucks down in the south island vs. Auckland. Apparently, its because it snows once a year (which EVERYONE takes as a free day, off work and school, etc etc). The lucky bastards, while it might snow once, they said that typically the weather will bounce right back to 60′F (20′C is actually what they said, who knows what 20′C is…).
These people are serious about drinking. As I might have said before, they don’t sell beer in cans (well, if they do its only a very small fraction). They thought it quite amusing when I mentioned you have to ask for bottles specifically in the US. You go to the grocery store and they literally have isles of beer and wine (wine just catching on here in the past few years).
Christchurch is on the east coast of NZ. In the space of 5 miles you have an amazing varitey of microclimes. On the planes is a near-subtropical environment (mixed species including Palms) streching for miles, but as you head towards the hills the coves and cliffs protect some places from the southerly winds. In those locations, protected from the cold, you have a positively tropical envrionment. The suburb of Summer looks straight out of Hawaii. Right up the hill from Summer, over the mountains, the forest gives way to Pines and local flora. Down the other side of the bay (into the flooded Caldera of a long extinct volcano) the climate is much colder, temperate like Pennsylvania. Rick mentioned that, while they do maintain the port and a small town simply due to the deep water and practical access, no one really wants to live there because its so damn cold in the winter (probably 20′F, with what they are used to here…). All within a 5 mile drive from the ocean, to the cliffs and foothills, and over the mountain, whatever you are looking for (except a tropical beach, while they do have a couple golden sandy beaches, the water is relatively cold).
NZ has apparently nearly the highest UV anywhere outside of Antartica. Did I mention that previously?
Rugby is actually rather interesting once you gather the rules. The play is nearly continuious and well thought-out. The more I see, the more I think ‘hey, thats not that bad, no wonder its so popular!).
No snakes, no real land mammals (a few small introduced), no toads, only a few frogs…New Zealand (if it weren’t for the introduction of rats, possums, stoats and the like) would be virtually bare of animal life. Birds made it over, but apparently NZ has been cut off from any real mainland for a very long time (or had the animal life wiped clean at one point). The only thing dangerous here apparently is a spider which can give you a nasty bite (think Brown Recluse, but not deadly, just toxic / eat your flesh).
On that note, I’m off. If no one is watching, I might use the trampoline.
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