Pollywogs!

I pushed a button and elected him to office and uh,
He pushed the button and dropped the bomb…
You pushed the button and could watch it on the television,
Those motherfuckers didn’t last too long heh-heh…
I’m sick of hearing about the have’s and the have not’s,
Have some personal accountability…
The biggest problem with the way that we’ve been doing things is,
The more we let you have the less that I’ll be keeping for me…

Well I used to stand for something,
Now I’m on my hands and knees…
Traded in my god for this one,
He signs his name…

Don’t give a shit about the temperature in Guatemala,
Don’t really see what all the fuss is about…
Ain’t gonna worry about no future generations and heh,
I’m sure somebody gonna figure it out…
Don’t try to tell me how some power can corrupt a person!
You haven’t had enough to know what its like…
You’re only angry cause you wish you were in my position,
Now nod your head because you know that I’m right, alright!

Well I used to stand for something,
But forgot what that could be…
There’s a lot of me inside you,
Maybe you’re afraid to see…

Well I used to stand for something
Now I’m on my hands and knees
Traded in my god for this one,
And he signs his name…

FUCK GEORGE

—

Oh he wants to hypnotize you…’spin his little watch before your eyes’…

I’m not going into work the second Tuesday in September…ask me again, call me a liar…

I can’t believe this, can’t believe our world-wide suicide…what does it mean when war has taken over?

Fucking denial twist…grab a hold of the soul where the memory lingers…ok, is that one a stretch? Get ready to flex…

Does progress need be evolution slow? I do what I want, yet still irresponsibly? We’re all liars, this is our church, let us sing in the choir?

—

It is all going to be quite different when I am global dictator…we tempt you, we taunt you, we will rebuild our tower, Babel no longer…what would you say? What is the correct answer to why?

—

How can I give voice to this angst when we do not yet have the words?

Why not?

Walk in me, walk in me…it helps to listen…

—

Apologizes to many…

http://realevang.wordpress.com/2007/08/28/how-god-really-works/

‘A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.”

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform.

The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, “What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”

The Marine calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting America ’s soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an a$$. So, He sent me.”’

That is a hell of a good story, right?

God bless America! Atheists and Jews out! Muslims out! Illegals out! Lets go kick some ass in Iraq, bring em on!

Make sure you read the link where the story came from, it has lots of god fearing, good quality, wholesome evangelical stuff just like this! Go NRA!

…

Err, alrighty then…

—

This is a hilarious story.  I hope it is at least half true.

“Replying to the scammer immediately, I attached thirteen images of Goatse.  As the scammer used a gmail account, I knew these images would display automatically on his screen (without having to download each one at a time).  All thirteen, in one hit.”

Only the most tangentially related:  Its George Michael Bluth!  I gotta see this Superbad…

—

Look at that counter in the upper left hand of my blog.  That number is how much money has been stolen by the Bush Administration from the US public.  Fucking baby Jesus H. Christ in the ass, for fucks sake!

—

The United States, a hundred years ago.  AKA China…

—

Who is this Kucinich you speak of?

—

I remember mocking this a couple years ago, about how MLB says you can’t redistributoe the games or accounts of the game.  “Did you see the Phillies last night?”, “No, was it a good game?”, “I’d tell you, but I’d get sued by a gigantic corporation!”.  Except that I’m not joking…

—

This is milding interesting.  A couple pictures of a snowflake at ever-increasing levels of magnification.

Coffee will pour out of a dispenser in your wall, freshly brewed from brewmasters deep in the heart of Columbia! You’ll have thousands of bean combinations to choose from! Select anything you want at any time of day or night, and it is instantly delivered to your cup! Yea, right…

So my sister bought my folks a new coffee maker because their old one sucked. I don’t remember the old one. But the new Mr. Coffee she purchased unfortunately was designed by retarded assclowns, and put into production with zero real life testing. So, yes, we have a coffee maker from 2005 that is literally one of the worst coffee makers ever!

PROGRESS IS AMAZING!

So, I head down to K-Mart today after having some blood drawn at the old clinic (a story for a different post, just like the $360 dentist bill). I wander the aisles in bemused consumer bliss, orgasming over copious quantities of things I could buy but would never need. I pick up some outrageously expensive shaving creme. I pick up these outrageously inexpensive cute little USB thumb drives. I buy two quarts of motor oil and find Mobil1 that has sat unmolested on the shelf for more than twenty years.

I wander over to Martha’s domain, in search of the most sturdy cork puller money can buy…alas, they are out of stock…buy the quality shit lest ye be left corked! After breaking wine bottle openers, buying replacements that have broken, we finally ’splurge’ and spend the extra three dollars for Martha’s premium shit. And I haven’t broken it yet, regardless of the condition my condition is in.

I reach the final destination of my journey, the coffee maker ‘aisle’, because apparently everyone and their brother needs to make cheap coffee makers. I wander up and down, examining them in turn. I observe that Mr. Coffee is still using the same broken water delivery method that is the impetus for the trip:

Water drips out of a boom that swings over the filter basket. The water distribution is irregular, surging from both the near and far ends of the boom. Occasionally a large spurt comes raging out and clips the edge of the filter…you know what that means: coffee grounds throughout the basket, under the basket, throughout the coffee pot…basically, a gigantic fucking mess which takes a good damn amount of time to thoroughly clean up.

PROGRESS IS AMAZING!

So, back to K-Mart. I start at the high end, and walk my way down. No, no, no…too many booms, not enough central drip action. Finally, I find the object of my desire. A Proctor Silex unit with a central drip. Twelve fucking dollars. Twelve. Fucking. Dollars.

How can a little squeeze bottle of shaving cream cost $6 and a fucking coffee maker cost $12?

CHINA IS AMAZING!

Speaking of China, they are winning the war…let me start a new blog post here, brb…alright.  Click here to continue…

The day after the post below I cut grass with our push-mower. It all needed done as it had been so long. It also has been so long since I push mowed for three hours straight. I was deliciously sore all over Monday…

—

Have I posted this before? FPSDoug:

I played a little CS:S last night, actually a server running a FPSDoug mod…it was fucking hilarious to hear that crazy son of a bitch yell out ‘headshot’ every time I got a head shot…
—

Ted Nugent is an insane, hypocritical asshole. In the most extreme sense of the word.

—

I think it is wonderful that some people have memories longer than last weekend:

“I think it’s also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they [the US troops] will be involved and when they will be withdrawn.”

Well, once you put that quote in context, it is quite ‘teh lol’…or it will fill you with an deep and insane rage. I guess that depends upon your perspective. Oh, I guess there may be a third case where you feel it is all part of the jew leftist satanic media smear campaign or something, but those folks there is no accounting for…

—

Please, Baby Jesus, all I want is competency. That is all I want…

—

The man got you down? Someone remove the built-in windows game from your ’slave to the corporate hierarchy’ desktop? Slave away no more, World of Solitaire is here to restore inefficiency!

—

Corporate cock suckers. Jesus. It is one thing to helpfully flesh out an article that is part of your area of expertise. It is completely different to censor information on Wikipedia that (Baby Jesus forbid) shows your corporation in an unflattering light. Fucking corporate cock suckers, choking down Satan’s gigantic sulphuric load…