Pollywogs!

Odd that the normal human condition in the United States seems to be satiated AND fundamentally dissatisfied.  Or is it just me?

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I never knew how nice the Picasa Web Albums are.  Flickr, you better kick your shit up a notch!  Oh, and that canyon looks totally awesome too.

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There are people who are working to end Prohibition.  Responsible use?  Abuse being a medical condition rather than a criminal act?  Jesus save us!!!  The ACLU themselves are getting into the act!  (full disclosure: I recently became a card carrying ACLU member).

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Speaking of those devil worshipers at the ACLU, here is an action page where you can remind your representatives that you personally find torture of another human being reprehensible.  You do find the concept of torture to be stomach turning, don’t you?  What, you just told the inquisition that I turned your sister into a newt???

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Plundering the coffers.  What did President Eisenhower say about the Military Industrial Complex?  Seemed important at the time, ahh shucks I’m sure it’s nothing important!  Hell, he was only the Allied Supreme Commander during World War II, what does he know anyway…Oh look, American Idle is on!

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Speaking of things you don’t need to know about, did you know that propaganda is illegal?  Not that legality or fear of accountability has EVER prevented the government from doing anything (hey look, Big Brother is on!)…

JOHN STAUBER: …What happened here was a psy-ops campaign, an incredible government propaganda campaign whereby Donald Rumsfeld and Torie Clark, the head of public relations for the Pentagon, designed a program to recruit 75, at least 75 former military officers, as your report said, most of them now lobbyists or consultants to military contractors, and insert them, beginning in 2002, before the attack on Iraq was even launched, into the major networks to manage the messages, to be surrogates.

And that’s the words that are actually used, “message multipliers” for the secretary of defense and for the Pentagon. This program continues right up to now.

JUDY WOODRUFF: And is the essence of this that what they did was — what the Pentagon did was illegal?

JOHN STAUBER: Yes, what they did was illegal. Now, the Pentagon might contest that, but we’ve had various laws on the books in our country going back to the 1920s. It is illegal for the U.S. government to propagandize citizens in this way.

But you won’t hear anything about THIS on the nightly news!  Oh look, The Insider is on!

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There was once this awesome kid who taped his teacher preaching in a public school classroom.  The Man fucked the kid over, but he persevered and recently wrote an excellent article on just what a shitty job school does ‘educating’ kids these days (and implies the more important WHY):

What is most distressing is not that some public school teachers preach their religion, or that some authors put politics ahead of education. It is that it is so rare for anyone to call them on it. This text is widely used. Yet to my knowledge, no one has challenged these incorrect and misleading statements.

As Americans, we should stand up for our common values. We should champion education and settle for nothing less than the best. Our teachers should do the same and should not misuse their positions to promote their personal agendas.

Thank YOU Matthew!

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The real cost is hidden:

Under longstanding trade agreements, fuel for international freight carried by sea and air is not taxed. Now, many economists, environmental advocates and politicians say it is time to make shippers and shoppers pay for the pollution, through taxes or other measures.

“We’re shifting goods around the world in a way that looks really bizarre,” said Paul Watkiss, an Oxford University economist who wrote a recent European Union report on food imports.

He noted that Britain, for example, imports — and exports — 15,000 tons of waffles a year, and similarly exchanges 20 tons of bottled water with Australia. More important, Mr. Watkiss said, “we are not paying the environmental cost of all that travel.”

Isn’t that “amusing”.

Here, I’ll send you 15,000 tons of waffles…

Oh look, now I need 15,000 tons of waffles, please send me some…

That noise you just heard?  That was my head exploding…

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You know what a good job our government has been doing lately?  I mean that sarcastically, not the good job they’ve been doing fucking us over, they’ve literally been slamming that shithole a perfect 10 the past eight years…

Well, they’ve done a ‘good job brownie’ on the 9/11 report:

This isn’t just a matter of academic and historical interest about the 9/11 attacks, although it is that. One of two things almost certainly happened here, each of which is of great importance. Either Mukasey is lying about the 9/11 attacks in order to manipulate Americans into believing that FISA’s warrant requirements are what prevented discovery of the 9/11 attacks and caused 3,000 American deaths — a completely disgusting act by the Attorney General which obviously cannot be ignored. Or, Mukasey has just revealed the most damning fact yet about the Bush’s administration’s ability and failure to have prevented the attacks — facts that, until now, were apparently concealed from the 9/11 Commission and the public.

Hey wait, that isn’t just the 9/11 report, this sounds like some SERIOUS SHIT going down!  But you won’t hear anything about THIS on the nightly news.  Oh look, Survivor is on!

(I may have previously posted this, I apologize, but you aren’t in the streets protesting yet)

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God hates fags.  Err…god hates shrimp?  Hmm…god hates atheists!!!

Did you hear about the state legislator who last week blasted a Lutheran minister during a committee hearing for spewing dangerous religious superstitions, and then attempted to order the minister out of the witness chair on the grounds that his Christian beliefs are “destroying what this state was built upon”?

Of course you didn’t, because it didn’t happen and would never happen. Not to a Christian, not to a Jew, not to a Muslim or to anyone who subscribes to any faith.

Such an attack would rightly be considered scandalously out of bounds in contemporary society.

But you probably also didn’t hear about what actually did happen…

I mean, fuck, who DOESN’T hate atheists?  They’re worse than them thar ahy-rab muz-lims.

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Speaking of why I’m such an intolerant jerk when it comes to ‘god’, I present to you the REAL Pledge of Allegiance:

I pledge allegiance to my flag and the republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

‘Hey wait you atheist fuck, that isn’t the pledge!  Why do you hate our troops?  Jesus loves you!  Die you commie scumbag!’

“In God We Trust” printed on government issue money?  My contempt runneth over and splashes out across the globe.  Sex and religion, both best enjoyed privately behind closed doors…

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Finally, Lee Iacocca is a pretty cool dude:

‘Am I the only guy in this country who’s fed up with what’s happening? Where the hell is our outrage?

We should be screaming bloody murder. We’ve got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we’ve got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can’t even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car.

But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, ‘Stay the course’. Stay the course? You’ve got to be kidding. This is America , not the damned ‘Titanic’. I’ll give you a sound bite: ‘Throw all the bums out!’

Heck yea, Lee!  Damn straight!  I’m all riled up now!  Let’s march on Washington!  We will not be drowned out, heckled, mocked.  We will be heard!

…but can I get back to you in a bit?  The Real World just came on.  Err, and I have Dancing With the Stars and The Batchelor after.  You know, tonight isn’t so hot for me.  How about I get back to you later this week?  I’ll try to make some time between The Hills reruns and The Biggest Loser.  I’ll call, we’ll touch base then, I promise!